No really. You can solve the vast majority of problems with communication. Being vulnerable enough to have difficult conversations is uncomfortable and there is always a risk that someone will be upset about what you have to say. Avoiding communication will certainly allow you to avoid being uncomfortable and it will also guarantee that nothing at all will happen which usually leads to resentment and a different kind of discomfort. Even if what you have to say doesn't lead to what you were hoping for, you get to walk away from the situation feeling proud of yourself for having tried. It feels better to have uncomfortable vulnerability and pride than it does to have discomfort and resentment.
In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we learn the interpersonal skills to have difficult conversations and to be patient with others. To get someone to do what you want, you could use DEAR MAN skills:
Describe exactly what the situation is with facts, avoiding blaming or demanding: "You told me you would be home by dinner but you didn't get here until 11."
Express your feelings with "I" statements: "When you come home so late, I start worrying about you."
Assert yourself by asking for what you want: "I would really like it if you would call me when you are going to be late."
Reinforce the benefits of the person doing what you want: "I would be so relieved, and a lot easier to live with, if you do that."
Mindfully stay focused on your goals without getting off topic: keep expressing your opinion without getting derailed by attacks, threats, or attempts to change the subject
Appear confident even if you don't feel confident: confident tone and body posture, good eye contact, speaking audibly, don't say "I don't know"
Negotiate when needed: "How about you text me when you think you might be late?" or "what do you think we should do; I can't just stop worrying about you."
If you want to learn more DBT skills and improve your communication skills, join my DBT skills class.
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