Trying to make other people happy is exhausting. Everyone probably wants something different from or for you, so who do you decide to make happy? While you're trying to decide who to make happy, you're probably not happy. You don't need to be disrespectful or mean about wanting to achieve your own goals (that won't help anything ever), you just need to have the confidence that you're headed in the direction you want to. Also, if you head down your own path and it ends up leading you to a destination you didn't expect or want, there are plenty more paths to take. We seem to believe that if we change our minds about something it means we're wishy-washy or unsure of ourselves, but maturity is the ability to change opinions based on new information.
In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we learn how to create a life worth living; you may not have asked to be on this planet, but it's your responsibility to make it worth it. It isn't easy and it requires commitment and work. The skills are ABC PLEASE:
Accumulate positive emotions: do pleasant things everyday and make changes to your life that will lead you to your long-term goals
Build mastery: do things that challenge you to make you feel competent and combat helplessness
Cope ahead for emotional situations: make a plan to help you handle difficult situations (there are plenty of DBT skills to use for this)
Physical iLlness: treat the physical body for any illnesses
Eat balanced food without depriving yourself of the good stuff
Avoid mood-altering substances such as drugs and alcohol
Sleep on a consistent schedule, getting enough sleep
Exercise 30 minutes a day (taking the dog for a walk, yoga, martial arts, dancing)
To learn more DBT skills to create a life worth living, join my DBT skills class.
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